Oblivious
- You are beautiful, can’t you understand why that hurts me enough to not want to talk to you right now?
- You are confident, can’t you see how much I’m lacking and what being around you pains me?
- You are perfection, and you know it, so why would your attention and company do anything but cripple me?
- She’s amazing. And wonderful. A dream come true. You don’t have to tell me what I already know.
- I’m riding a wave of insecurity and depression, it makes me bitter towards all my beautiful and perfect friends. It makes every casual remark feel like a knife in my heart. It makes just looking at pictures an ordeal that can put me on the verge of tears.
- I am not perfect, I am not pretty, I’m not put together well and everything you are just highlights everything I’m not. Everything you gush over just reminds me of what I lack.
- I am not good enough. That is what it feels like.
- I wanna pull away from everyone right now.
- How can you all not see how much it all hurts me right now?
- I know I’m nobody’s dream…but right now I just don’t need help driving that home.
It’s Ridiculous…
- How hard it is to cry in front of other people.
- How hard it is to discuss my insecurities.
- How depressed I have been lately.
- How many times I have thought of the future and wished it away.
- How often I have cried when alone.
- How disgusted I am with myself.
- How conflicted I feel.
- How stupid I feel.
- How insignificant and invisible I feel.
- How tired I am all the time.
- How hard it is to shake this depression.
- How much I wish I could talk this out with my best friend, my boyfriend, my fiance.
- How much I struggle to even communicate the slightest bit.
- How scared I am of rejection.
- How terrified I am of being a burden.
- How much I feel like a failure.
- How much I miss my positive self.
- How hard I’m trying, only to get nowhere.
Guh.
The Sex Ed You Wish They Taught in Schools: The Difference Between S/M & Abuse →
It is not consent if…
- You did not expressly give consent.
- You are afraid to say no.
- You say yes to avoid conflict.
- You say yes to avoid consequences
(i.e. losing a job, losing your home, being outed).S/M is…
- Always consensual.
- Done with respect for limits.
- Enjoyed by all partners.
- …
Happy Poly Moment
Posting on Facebook about how awesomely supportive one’s husband is, and then getting one’s boyfriend liking the post.
I love my guys.
<3 I love it when this happens!
<3
<3
<3
Had myself a little realization…
I am a fucked up individual.
- Sometimes, I get lost in myself.
- Sometimes, my problems are just too heavy and I struggle with holding myself up.
- So that means sometimes I can’t hold up other people.
- Even when they need me the most.
- And do you know what? I fucking feel guilty and selfish when that happens.
- I hate myself for not being everything to everyone.
- You know what else? I am too good at pretending.
- And I don’t think that YOU know how much what you say can hurt me, even when it seems like it shouldn’t or doesn’t.
- But it hurts anyways.
- I just worry more about your hurt so I let it hurt me and don’t say anything.
- I wish my best friend lived close enough to me so I could run to him for a hug when I needed it most.
So, yeah, I do this shit.
I.
DO.
THIS.
SHIT.
And it makes me feel better.
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